Hi Mary,

I would argue that issues around health and safety are really paramount criteria for whether or not to choose to step-in.  Fortunately it is possible to obtain evidence along these lines when visiting your loved one(s).  Here are a few ideas:

1) Inspect medicatons.  Does the information on the medicine botttles align with the current date?  When you count the pills left in the bottles does it appear that the medicines are being self-administered correctly?

2) Inspect the kitchen.  Is there any evidence of pots or a kettle that has been left over a flame too long and is now burnt?  Does the refigerator contain food that reflects that a balanced diet is being followed and that food left there is not too old?

3) Observe your loved one(s) walking on level surfices, both up and down stairs and in getting up from chairs.  Do you observe any difficulty?  Do you observe any serious reliance on rails or banasters?  Do you observe he or she is using furniture or walls for balance?  

The above three examples are a few of many ways to informally assess the issue of when to step in.  Potential solutions for the above three can include:

1) Purchasing a medication dispensing box that could be maintained by you and your loved one(s). This can result in less mistakes around the administration of medicaton.

2) Consider arranging for home delivered meals and for your loved one(s) to rely as much as possible on a safer microwave oven for reheating.

3) Have the primary care physician order a home safety assessment to be done by a physical therapist in the home.  Such an assessment can potentially lead to ongoing needed physical therapy and recommendations for adapative equipment or devices for the home.

Good luck,

Jim Ferry